Because I'm an R.A. in Helaman Halls, twice a week I attend a Student Development class designed to help us understand how to better meet the needs of our residents (and keep ourselves from going insane). This last Tuesday, we had a lesson that really stuck with me.
We talked about the impact that positive and negative thinking can have on our attitudes, moods, and even behaviors. We discussed the 11 Common Errors of Negative Thinking, thinking errors that we all make at one point are another and that are destructive to ourselves and those around us. I'd like to share these common errors, because I think there are 2-3 that we all make a little more often than we'd like. Then, at the bottom, there are ways to combat negative thinking. It's certainly helped me and has become something I want to work on.
The 11 Common Errors of Negative Thinking
1. Catastophizing - you predict that the worst possible outcome will happen; when something bad does happen, you tell yourself it is unbearable, awful and catastrophic.
Ex. If I fail this test, I will flunk out of college and my life will be over.
2. Filtering out and discounting - focus on negative aspects of the situation while filtering out positive aspects by ignoring or minimizing them.
Ex. My parents’ compliments don’t matter – they have to say that
3. Shoulds and Musts - you have rigid and sometimes unrealistic expectations of yourself, others, and the world. If these expectations are not met, you become upset.
Ex. I must get an A; I must never get attached to someone again, because I might lose them
4. All or nothing - See things in black and white, either-or terms.
Ex. If he doesn't want to hang out with me today, he must not want to hang out with me ever.
5. Self-Blame; It's all my fault - see yourself as the cause of something bad that happened when you actually had little or no influence over what took place. Or, you assume excessive responsibility for others' feelings or lives and and blame yourself for falling short.
Ex. If it weren't for me, this never would have happened. My roommate is sad, and it must be because of something I did.
6. If it feels true, it is true - you take how you feel about something as proof that it is true.
Ex. I feel worthless, so I am.
7. Then is now - you respond to a current situation as if it were a traumatic situation from your past.
Ex. I can't trust men because he hurt me so badly.
8. Self put-downs - you put negative labels on yourself and tear yourself down
Ex. I'm such a loser; No wonder he won't go out with me, I'm so fat.
9. Over-generalization - drawing big, sweeping conclusions from limited evidence. If something is true once then it will always be true. Extreme words: always, never, everything, nothing, everyone, no-one, completely, totally, etc.
Ex. No one cares about me; I always let people down.
10. Foretelling the future - You assume that you can predict the future, and treat your prediction as an established fact. You predict something bad will happen, and act accordingly - a self-fulfilling prophecy. Blame yourself for not preventing something bad that happened.
Ex. I know I am going to fail this test; I can't forgive myself for not being there to save my friend.
11. Mind reading - You assume that you know what other people think or know (especially about you) and treat your guess as an established fact.
Ex. Mom didn't call me right back, she must be mad at me.
How to deal with negative thought patterns:
1. Become aware that you are having a negative thought - it lowers your energy level, makes you gloomy and bitter. Recognize you are having a bad thought.
2. Label it - "I am experiencing a negative thought" - identify which type of negative thought.
3. Find the evidence to support what you are thinking may or may not be true.
4. Reframe it - Look for ways to positively reframe the thought that supports the evidence you found.
